How time flies

More than a year since I posted here. Keep getting distracted by other things :-)

So Josiah will be 17 months old this Saturday. Time really flies!

He has grown so much. Very naughty but still such a precious darling. When he smiles, my heart just melts...

Am now working in a new organization - Enterprise Asia. Started on 1st April 2013. Havent decided yet whether I fit in here but am putting my all in and will see where it goes. Hate how much im missing out on time with Josiah though :-(

We are off to Sydney in a month! Cant wait. Its costing a bomb especially due to the cancellation of the original apartment and the new apartment costing so much more.. but oh well.. we will just work hard to replace the money... its gonna be a great trip! so excited! and it will be the first time Uncle Johny and Aunty Julie meet Josiah...

Being a mother

It still amazes me that I'm a mum. Having Josiah in my life has totally turned my life upside down. It's tiring, sometimes frustrating, totally time consuming ....... But ...... When he looks at me, smiles, laughs or just gurgles, my heart totally melts and I feel a surge of love that I never knew I could feel.

He is truly an amazing child. Such a blessing to us.

I think I like being a mother.

Off to rebond my hair tomorrow. Perming didn't do so well with my hair.

Spent half the day in church. This was the 2nd time serving. Am so happy that Ivan decided to join the welcome team as well. Pastor Mervin preached a great message today. Great preparation for when I have kids one day.

Went to Veenas to get my hair done. Birthday treat from Aunty Sharm. Ivan sat in the shop for the 3+ hours that it took to get my hair done. Poor thing but he was so sweet about it.

Tomorrow is a public holiday. We are meeting Shayna, Kp, Mama, Rayna and a bunch of church friends for breakfast at Yut Kee's followed by Christmas decoration shopping and some clothes shopping. Then prayer meeting in the evening.

It's gonna be a packed day.

My blackberry conked out! Only had it less than 2 months! Ridiculous. Thank God for the back up phone. Have to wait until Tuesday before we can go get it fixed. Oh well!

Birthday in 6 days and Christmas decorations go up! Yay!

November

Ahhh November. A month I look forward to and yet also a month I don't look forward too. Why? Coz November is when I put up my Christmas decorations but its also the month I turn one year older.

Yet I want to focus only on the positive. I have much to be thankful for.

The days have been fleeting, I'm not sure how much I have accomplished. THis is going to be a month of contemplations and planning and decision making.

GOD is good ALL the time, and ALL the time, GOD is good

God is always faithful. No matter what my day is like, I know that it can only get better because God has my life in His hands and as the bible says, "with God for you, who can be against you?".

This week Ivan and I began to spend time praying and studying the bible together. I know its not something that Ivan is too comfortable with but I believe that this is actually strenghtening us. Praying as a family is something we intend to continue even when we have kids.

All of us will go through ups and downs in life. We will face challenges and obstacles. But no matter what, God is there for us. When we are weary and feel we can't go on much longer, God will carry us through.

I continue to pray for Gods peace to come upon me in choosing the path for my future. I continue to believe and have faith that all my dreams and desires will come to pass. And I continue to thank and praise God for His blessings every day.

I am so blessed. I have more than millions of others. I have a supportive and loving family. I have good friends. I have a good job. I have a wonderful husband and in laws. I have a beautiful home, and a good car and a darling dog. I have a wonderful church with great leaders and a great connect group. I have a good life and it's all thanks to the Lord Jesus.

So even if things get difficult, I will continue and praise Him for all that He has done and for his goodness, grace, mercy and love.

God is good ALL the time, and ALL the time, God is good!

mid year....

hard to believe its already 6 months into the year....
It has been an interesting time with good times and bad times but with Gods grace I am stronger than before. God is truly wonderful :-)

I'm already looking forward to Christmas.. haha! As i write this, im listening to a few Christmas songs :-) I know I know 6 months early but oh well!

Ivan and I are planning a beach holiday with our friends Ben and Loraine. If everything goes as planned, the holiday will be in August! I can't wait!

Went for one of my colleagues engagement/wedding dinner Saturday night. It was nice catching up with Mondy, Vince and Casey. How I have missed them!

Looking forward to some good news this week at work...

God and Prayer

I read someones blog today about prayer and it made me think about my own prayer life. I havent been to church the whole of November... first because I was sick and then just pure laziness!

But more than works, I realise that I have not been spending much time in prayer. An area of life that needs to be habitual rather than scheduled.

Prayer helps put things into perspective. It makes me less selfish because beyond praying for myself, there are a lot more people out there to pray for! Prayer helps bring peace to my heart because after letting it all out and leaving it at God's feet, I know that no matter the circumstances or what I see or feel, I know that with God all things are possible and every problem, trial, illness, is taken care of by Him.

I'm glad that I was led to that blog. It's a message to me.

What I'll be praying for the next one month:

A. Good Health and healing - for my loved ones and myself who are struggling in this area.
B. Finances - for a couple of friends who are struggling financially.
C. Malaysia - for our leaders and citizens - for an end to corruption and disunity
D. Business growth and success
E. Love and grace

May all your prayer lives be fruitful and growing.

God Bless

What is it?

A dear friend sent me an email today. This is a part of what she wrote :

Hey Michelle
I was spending some time praying. And while i was praying for you, i had this picture that came to me for you. There is a very big strong root in ur life. Its like u know this root that is causing so much of problem in ur life. I dont know. And He wants you to ask Him to help u remove it from ur life. Cos this root is very deeply rooted in ur life. and there are small root from the big root starting to take control of ur life. He want you to ask him to remove it from ur life. .

What is the root? I don't know. But I do know that I have been feeling very overwhelmed and suffocated and over my head. I have felt the need to escape- away from everyone and everything. I guess I need to spend time in prayer and ask God to reveal to me what this root is. And learn to let go and leave it all in His hands.

Lord Jesus, I pray for a revelation from you and that my eyes will be opened. Whatever it is that is causing me to be held back and is taking control of my life, I speak against it and I ask You Lord to remove it from my life. Amen

Crossroad

I'm at a cross road in my life right now. In terms of work that is. I don't really know what to do.. in the sense of my current job.

Should I stay here, or should I move on? I have been here for 5 years now. I sometimes feel like I have learnt all that I can learn from here. And I think the constant office politics, back stabbing, favoritism, double standards, unnecessary conflicts and having a boss who isn't very supportive, who makes promises he doesn't keep and who isn't loyal have really worn me down. Sometimes enough is enough I think!

Yet I am still here. I think I have become too comfortable. Sometimes I think that I am afraid to venture out into the unknown. And the money is good. The basic is crap but the commissions (which I have to work hard for) is good.


I don't know. I'm trying to figure things out. I have been scanning the job ads but so far haven't found anything that interests me. I was offered a job in January by a competitor company.. I was really tempted. The culture at the place, the passionate sharing from a friend who has worked there for 2 years on what a great place it is to work at, and the hour long conversation with the boss who I took an instant liking too was a pull factor. The location and salary wasn't.

Right now I am trusting in God to help me make a decision. If this is where he wants me to remain, then remain I will. But if He has other plans for me, I really want to know. I'm praying for an answer and guidance from Him.

There are a few more months left to this year. I am going to be 31 years old soon. I need a change in my life. I need a proper direction. And I need some assurance.

Send me a clear sign Lord!

Fitness first subang jaya

For those of you who don't know, fitness first subang finally opened at empire gallery mid may after a 2 month delay. I thought I would blog about my thoughts about the new gym.

Venue: love it! So much better than wisma consplant in the sense that parking is more convenient and there are tons of shops around.

The gym: I like the the open space they created for us to do our floor exercises and stuff. At wisma consplant there was no designated area so we had to do this near the machines which was cramped and uncomfortable. Also love the new rpm room (though I don't plan on going for an rpm class anytime soon!)
i'm not too comfortable with the machines though. I think this happens in any gym. You can get lost trying to figure out how to use the machines without looking like a fool around the numerous hunky guys around :) but to be fair, I haven't really spent time here yet so I can't say much.
I like the drink bar and lounge area. Definitely a lot more space than before and it's comfortable.
The equipment: hmmmm... Well when we first joined we were told that the new gym would be equipped with 100% brand new machines and equipment. So we were quite surprised to see about 50% of the equipment being recycled. Now I don't have a problem with using the old stuff but why mislead us?
The pool: another area where members were mislead. We were told that the pool was going to be a heated pool! That got us all excited thinking that after a nice workout, we can go soak and relax our muscles in the heated pool. But guess what? It turned out to be a normal swimming pool. Hmmm I wonder what happened to the heated part of it ? Oh well I'm glad they have a pool anyway because I love swimming and especially now that my back is acting up again, I can swim for exercise.

The staff: they are great! I like how they remember you and are always ready with a smile. Even louis the general manager (who I just found out has left) was regularly on the floor and always greeting us and actually remembered stuff we talked about. I like that! The personal trainers all seem to know their stuff. Some or rather a couple scare the hell out of me though. They look like they could crush me with one arm! :) their arms are bigger than my face!!!!

All in all I'm happy at FF. Definitely a hundred times better than experience at true fitness! Keep up the good work guys!

Really?

Someone dear to my heart told me yesterday that reading my blog made her cry because I constantly insulted and put myself down. That really was a surprise to me because I didn't realise that I did that.

She also challenged me to sit down and list down the things I like about myself or the things that I have accomplished. Now, that is hard. But I wanted to try it. So here goes :

a. I like my eyes. More so because that was one of the things that attracted my husband to me :-)

b. I am proud to have achieved the success that I have in my career.

c. I am proud that I have been able to bless others.

d. I am proud to be the wife of Ivan Tang.

e. Most importantly, I am proud to be chosen as a child of God.

I can't think of anything else at the moment. But I do know that everything above is not me, but God. I have achieved what I have because of HIM and HIM only.

So anyway, here is to being more positive and becoming an example and inspiration to others.

Why I Like it Longer!

Having battled with weight issues for years, it has always been a struggle. I'm sure some of you can relate. My blog for one, says it all! All of us at some point in our lives, look up to celebrities and models, especially when it comes to looking good and feeling good.

Will i ever look like her? Am I beautiful? As we face the constant pressure of being like them, we still can't help but feel like it may never happen.

I need to be inspired to dig deep down inside of me as i search for the "Supermodel" in me and with the LG Chocolate BL40 phone, i would be taking a step towards achieving my goal! The LG Chocolate BL40 phone will be my sexy companion, inspiring me to dig deeper and keep going to be just like it - sleek and elegant. Nuffnang ~ The cards are in your hands; so help me, this Chocolate gal discover the Supermodel in me!

Happy New Year!

2010 is here! The last year passed by in a blink of an eye. Everything seems like it happened just a short while ago.

I had a wonderful Christmas and New Year with family. Met my sisters best friend from Thailand who is a lovely person - and anyone who can get along with my family is definitely crazy and fantastic!! :-)

As this year begins, I have decided not to reflect on the last year because i will just feel down with regrets. So here is to starting off this year on a positive note and working to achieve all my goals with a whole lot of discipline, perseverance, a positive attitude, and most of all, with the Good Lords help!

Blessed New Year everyone!

Time is moving fast

I weighed myself today. I weigh 93.6kg.

The weight is moving very slow. I am just trying to get down a bit faster so I can look nice for Christmas!

Christmas is in 2 weeks. I hope to lose at least another couple of kgs by then.

My cousin Sumisha is back from Melbourne and Simran will be back this weekend from UK.

Looking forward to some family time and lots of Christmas celebrations!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!

It is a day to remember the blessings in our lives, to remind ourselves of all the good things that we have and how lucky we are.

I am thankful to God for blessing me with a loving family, a wonderful husband, a great job with a steady income. I thank Him for his daily blessings, his protection over me and my loved ones and his constant presence in my life - even when i neglect him.

I am thankful for the friends that I have and the many opportunities He has given to me in this life.

I am thankful that I have a roof over my head, good food to eat, warm clothes, money to spend, people to love and be with.

I have many things to be grateful for - and not only today but everyday, I need to remind myself that I have so much more in my life than some people out there and instead of whining about what I don't have, I need to focus on the good things in life and be a blessing to others.

What are you thankful for?

Have a happy blessed Thanksgiving and enjoy your Christmas preparations!

Back to work

It was nice to be back to work yesterday after a 2 week absense. I must sound crazy but then if you are stuck at home, unable to do much, you would feel the same way too!

I missed quite a few people at the office, so it was nice to see them again. And nice to be out of the house and doing something fruitful at work.

I got a couple of belated birthday presents from a few people at the office. A notebook and a bottle of lotion from Marks & Spencers. Other than that, yesterday was very normal; filled with meetings and other preparations for next year.

On another note, I read with great interest a few articles related to "cheating" on a diet. This has been made popular by Joel Mason and has been endorsed by quite a few health professionals as well as other personal trainers.

Basically, what it says is that when you diet, your metabolism tends to slow down because it senses the reduction in calorie intake so it starts to save energy. So, to counter this, you should have "cheat" days in between the diet period so as to trick your body into believing that you are not starving it so that it maintains it metabolism at a proper level. Cheating would be to enjoy the foods that you like for that day.

This actually helps one to stay on a diet because you don't feel deprived as you can look forward to that one day of enjoying your favourite food. And you don't beat yourself when you cheat because you are technically not spoiling the diet!! How nice!! :-)

So I am going to try that out. I had my cheat day yesterday. Ate pretty well for breakfast and lunch. For breakfast I had Low fat Milk and drank Green tea until lunch. For lunch, I had tofu, chicken, vege and ikan bilis (no rice). And for dinner, I enjoyed steamboat! I go back on my 5 day diet today.

Let's see how this works out for me

I did It!

I finished the 5 day diet without cheating! Yay!! Glad I made it through.

One month ago, when I weighed myself, I was shocked to realise that despite going for bootcamp I had put on so much weight and I weighed in at 99.3kg! I was really upset that I let all my hard work go because of having a lot of alcohol, and too much of "good food". A few months ago, I had brought my weight down to 92kg... sigh.

So I started to cut my food a bit here and there and going on these diets - 3 days for the past 2 weeks and 5 days this week. I am happy to say that this morning I weighed in at 94.9kg which means that I have lost 4.4kg.

Now, the hardest part. Make sure that I don't put on what I lost and keep losing.

Last November (2008), I weighed in at my heaviest at 106.2kg. I started 2009 weighing less than 100kg (ie. 9xkgs). Now, I want to start 2010, weighing less than 90kgs - which means I need to at least be 89kg on January 1st 2010.

That leaves me with 6kg more to lose and not gain back by the end of this year.

It's going to be hard to do it without exercise but I will persevere. And I hope to be able to start walking on a treadmill in at least 2 weeks so that I can burn some calories along the way.

I am going to need all the help I can get.

Any thoughts on what else I can do besides watch my diet?

Counting down the days

Christmas is coming! As usual I am super excited. Nothing like Christmas to bring the child in us right out, isn't it?

My family (meaning extended family) will be doing Secret Santa again this year; which means instead of every family buying presents for every other person in the family, we each pick a name and buy one present. Which is a big relief on our wallets since we have more than 30+ people celebrating Christmas together! (Although I do miss shopping for endless presents and opening many of mine as well:-) )

This year however, would be the first year in my life that we would not be spending Christmas with the entire family. This year, the 6 of us (which means hubby, mom, Rayna, Shayna and KP) will be celebrating Christmas at the Portuguese Settlement in Malacca. We of course wanted the whole extended family to come along as well (time for a change of venue) but unfortunately, too many problems so its going to be just the 6 of us.

It's going to be weird not having everyone around, and not having the usual David/Sebastian/Naidu/Saini unharmonised Christmas carolling, hearing Uncle Anthony's words of wisdom, eating, laughing, playing games and then counting down, hugging and kissing and jumping in to open up the presents. I am going to miss that.

But I feel that while we maintain old traditions, I would like to add in some new traditions; traditions that I will be sharing with my kids someday (when I have them, that is). So it is going to be an exciting time; and from what I have heard from many people, Christmas eve at the Portuguese Settlement is great and the Spirit of Christmas is so alive in the air. So its going to be an interesting experience.

What is everyone else doing for Christmas??

Only 35 days left till Christmas!!

WOO HOO!

Low Calorie Diet

I am on a low calorie diet at the moment; which according to the source, should not be done for long periods. It is not the best of diets, but because I can't exercise, I need this to help me lose some kgs.

The good thing about this diet is that I can have a scoop of ice cream as dessert after dinner, so I don't feel so deprived.

Last week I did it for 3 days and this week I am doing it for 5 days. After which, I will go back to regular foods, but I will have to ensure that I don't overeat after that.

There are so many diets out there, so many fad diets, all promising quick weight loss; but of course those are just short term. In the end, each of us have to change our eating habits permanently and not just do it one off.

Eating healthy is a lifestyle and I am still learning how to do that.

It isn't easy - it really isn't. So the best thing to do is to make small adjustments at a time and bit by bit, slowly but surely, I will make it

Here is to eating healthy!

Reflections on Turning 30

Happy Birthday to Me!!

I turn 30 today. Looking back on my life, I ask myself : what have I accomplished in my 20s? What special or significant things have I done in my 20s that make the transition to the 30s easier on me?

Honestly, I would have to say Nothing. I had set out to do so many things before I turned 30 but unfortunately, due to laziness and procrastination and fear, I didn't.

Turning 30 was something nagging on my mind the whole year. I didn't want to turn 30. I don't want my skin to start looking old, I don't want to start seeing wrinkles, and having more aches and pains (though I have had a fair share of those these past few years), I don't want children to call me Aunty or others to call me Madam.

I want to stay youthful, feel youthful and be youthful.

But I know that I can have all the above. Its mental and physical. And that's why the weight loss is so important.

Even when I was in my 20s I felt like I was in my 60s (and that was what the weight counsellor told me my body age is!!). So in order to feel like a 20 something, I have to lose 35kgs, build up my stamina and endurance, get my health back in order and train my mind. And then I need to accomplish all that I wanted to do but haven't done.

So here is being 30 and starting a new chapter of my life and making changes for the better.

Cheers!