I am desperately wanting to get my life together, to lose weight, to be healthy, to be slim and beautiful and be able to wear nice dresses and clothes. But am I desperate enough?? I think I am.... but then why is it so hard for me then to resist temptations, to be like my two sisters; who when they decide that they need to lose weight they will go on a diet and exercise and lose it!
I on the other hand, keep making the decision to lose weight but then I keep falling off the wagon constantly :-(
Look at my recent attempt. From November 2008 till May 2009, I lost 13kgs. But since May till now, I have put back on about 4kgs! Knowing how hard it was for me to lose the weight in the first place, why is it I allow myself to slip and indulge and put on the weight again??
And everytime I get a scare like in my last post, I behave myself for awhile and then I just fall off the track again.
It is so frustrating and I get so angry with myself all the time. I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. I am afraid to think about how my husband might feel with the way I look. I get frustrated every time I see other girls (including my sisters) looking slim and beautiful and wearing the nice sexy clothes. And yet, I am unable to stick to any diet!
I am sick and tired of myself.
Today is just one of the many days that I feel a whole lot of self loathing.
Does anyone else feel the way I feel?
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3 comments:
Hi , i've read about master clease. Its a method to detox by just drink mix of lemon,maple syrup & ceyene pepper ONLY for 10 days. It helps to reduce weight too.
U can check out this video at youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMVosc-VO9c&feature=related
and also u can read about it here--->http://themastercleanse.org/
Maybe after detox it will help u lose weight easily.
I know its hard even for me coz we the type of people who loved food. But we have to kill the temptation
Self-loathing. Daily basis. Especially when I surround myself with actors, actresses and singers. That I do not have the guts to do myself justice? Self-loathing doesn't cut it.
Michelle, I have my share of self loathing. You have to go back and look at how far you've come and realise that it wasn't easy to have come this far. You should be proud of yourself! The journey surely have ups and downs and everybody goes thru it. Maybe you should focus on daily goals. Don't care about the days ahead of today. Just focus on accomplishing the goal for the day. Take one day at time. Pretty soon, you will get there.
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